Through The Looking Glass
by Kiwi The Great
Summary: Nico's mind wanders down a rabbit hole while he's in Tartarus. His sanity has almost run out, but one question still remains: Are his friends even on their way?


**"I am alive, I am alive, and that is the best that I can do."**

**- Margot And The Nuclear So and So's**  
**"Dress Me Like A Clown"**

Nico slammed his knuckles into the side of the cavern, watching the crimson blood flow from his newest infliction. His fists were already scratched and cloaked in blood, even more so than the rest of his battered form. It was the only thing that reminded him that everything was real. That Percy was still out there and he didn't get to tell him-

**NO**. Not here. Anywhere but here.

His body shaking with hunger, Nico slid down the canyon wall, even though the rocks raked across his back like claws. He allowed his pounding head to fall heavily in his hands. He paused, glancing upwards, taking a moment to examine his broken body.

His arms were decorated with numerous cuts and bruises, no doubt a result of his harsh surroundings. Some were deeper and uglier than others. Nico had tried to heal them by drinking the from the Phlegethon, but the fire waters' effects didn't last long, and did nothing to slake his thirst. He had even attempted to clean his wounds somehow, but had given up recently. His clothes were no worse for wear; they were just as torn and ragged as his sanity, caked with dirt and monster dust. His sneakers, smudged and flimsy, could have been in better shape.

His mental state wasn't in check, either. The very canvas of his mind had been decimated until Nico could no longer tell what was real anymore. Everything had just begun to blur at the edges, making him question his existence. Was there nothing but darkness in the world? Were his memories and experiences on Earth just a fabricated reality?

Nico sunk even closer to the ground, letting his head sink further into his burning palms. How long had it been since he had fallen into this gods forsaken place? Four days? Five? He had lost track. Time was different in Tartarus.

That much he knew.

He wondered what the crew of the Argo II was doing right know. He imagined most of them sleeping soundly in their beds, their flying ship swiftly speeding them along to their next destination, wherever that may be. Leo somewhere in the hull of the ship, cleaning or repairing. Piper taking a trip to the bathroom, or maybe off to see what Jason was up to. Percy, dozing off as best as he could.

_"You drool when you sleep."_

Nico laughed weakly, with no shade of humor beneath it. '_Even in Hell, you still manage to pop into my head at the worst of times'_, he thought.

Even when he was fighting the horrible monsters that lurked the abyss, Percy still came up as a common subject in his thoughts, each new image of the green eyed boy somehow granting Nico with more energy and strength.

Percy laughing.

***CLANG***

Percy wielding his sword.

***SLASH***

Percy running his fingers through his hair.

***SHINK***

Percy smiling.

**ROOOOOOOAR**!

Just... Percy.

***THUD***

At first, Nico had felt guilty bout his thought towards Percy. However, if he was going to be dead soon, he might as well put his emotions to use.

After each little victory, after each monster slain, Nico would have a small flicker of triumph; of hope. That somehow, his friends were going to save him, and he was going to reach the Doors, that everything was going to be put back together again. A little ember in his heart would begin to burn again. However, the reality would set it, and his meager state of euphoria would quickly slip away.

When he wasn't fighting or hiding from monsters, Nico would try to find the most comfortable patch of jagged rock to rest. However, it seemed that whenever he closed his eyes, the monsters would find him again. There were a few select _arai_ that enjoyed mocking him and jeer at his efforts to reach the Doors. They would wound him just enough to make him weaker then before, and then they would leave. A few hours later, they would come back full circle. It was like a sadistic game of tag.

Sometimes, if he was lucky, they wouldn't talk. They would just chase after him with a merciless, cold glint in their eyes, like they knew something he didn't, as they brandished their menacing claws. Other times, oppressing remarks would come out of their mouths like bullets, each one tearing a new hole in Nico's heart.

_"They'll never find you"_, cried one demon.

_"Why would they want to?" _spat the other. _"You're useless; a son of Hades."_

_"Just a tortured soul scrounging for pity"_, said the third one disappointedly. "_It's_ truly _pathetic_."

"_Why should we curse him, if his life is already an abomination?" _a fourth one cackled.

"_Truly a masterpiece that not even we could conjure!"_ shrieked another.

Each attack would leave Nico even more broken and shattered than the one before, leaving him to pick up the pieces.

_"Give up, little hero,"_one _arai_ had whispered cruelly, _" Because that little fire of yours will burn out sooner or later."_

The truth was...

Nico believed it.

And he knew that an extinguished fire would never be the same as it had been; not as spectacular or bright, which was why he never tried to bring any attention to himself. If a fire never starts, others can't put it out.  
He had begun to wear black to lessen the attention even more. Albeit, his tactics seemed to do the exact opposite. Apparently, if you try to distance yourselves from others, it's considered weird.

It was only after Nico knew that he had feelings towards Percy that he decided to get away from everyone. He couldn't handle the wave of emotions that overtook him ever time he saw Percy; emotions that Nico didn't quite understand. Anger at his betrayal to protect his sister, and gratitude for even trying in the first place.

With that, Nico stood up from where he had been sitting. In the distance, he could hear the delightful howls of the _arai_ slowly creeping closer towards him. Pretty soon, they would be on top of him.

Frowning sadly, he reached for his sword, the cool obsidian running smoothly through his fingers. His weapon was easily as much a part of him as his own brain. Losing it now would be like losing his leg.

Grasping his sword tightly in his hand, he glanced around in order to find means of escape. However, his eyes fell upon a pile of bones that perched precariously next to him. It looked too small to be a monsters'.

Nico's face turned into a curious expression. He made his way over to the skeleton. On closer inspection, it appeared to be the remains of a small kitten. The poor thing appeared to have been smashed to pieces after it he been killed.  
With a small gasp, Nico realized that it was one of the skeleton kittens Percy had told him about years go. The Titan Atlas had summoned a batch of the skeleton kittens when his assistant made a mistake of using Sabertooth tiger teeth instead of the intended T-Rex canines. Furious, Atlas sent his assistant to get the kittens out of his sight. And now...

Nico clenched his fists. It _wasn't fair_. The depths of Tartarus swallowed up the inhabitants of the earth indiscriminately.

He knelt down next to the skeleton. He felt as if he needed to talk to the remains; to voice his repentance. After all, he was the Ghost King. Talking to the dead wasn't exactly new.

"I'm sorry", he whispered. His voice was ragged from lack of use. It was in that moment he realized that he hadn't spoken a word since he had fallen into Tartarus

"This shouldn't have happened to you. To _anyone_."

The pearly white bones flickered in the dim light of the Phlegethon. It's ebony eyes stared back at him with a look of forgiveness. Nico imagined that it was just the shadows that were haphazardly strewn across its profile.

"I...I won't let it happen again. Ever". He thought of an old saying he heard his sister say to him when he was younger.

"_Aiutiamo coloro che non possono aiutare se stessi" _she would say to him when he complained about giving their food to Jewish families in hiding. He looked down at the pile of bones.

"We help those who cannot help themselves", he said.

As he turned around to leave, the ugly, wrinkled faces of the _arai_ burst into view.

However, Nico was no longer dreading his confrontation. In fact, he looked forward to it. He gazed upon the arai's faces. They did not show any remorse. Their lips never moved, but their soulless eyes stared endlessly.

"_Do not mourn the loss of something that was never ment to even exist," _the eldest demon hissed coldly._ "You know what that feels like. I bet that you were the reason your wretch of a mother got killed in the first place."_

Nico stood up straight. He did not owe these horrendous beasts anything. If he was going to go down, he was going down swinging.

"_Ready for another game of tag?" _the second _arai_ snarled gleefully.

With reflexes he didn't even know he possessed, Nico swung his sword at the arai with all his might. His blade passed through the monster with such force, the wretched creature flew back several feet before disintegrating into dust.

As suspected, a curse was thrust upon Nico. He felt a stabbing pain in his side, but he turned towards the shocked faces of the remaining monsters that stood before him.

"Tag," he growled, an eldritch smile creeping across his gaunt face. "_You're it__**.**_"


End file.
